Be Gentle And Ambitious

A few days ago, The New Yorker published this cartoon with the caption, “Remember when we thought the pandemic was only going to last a couple of weeks?”

Last week Fortune Magazine published the results of a survey of the CEOs of the Fortune 500 companies. You can see some of the results here.

52.5% of them anticipate economic activity returning to pre-pandemic levels by Q1, 2022. One-quarter think that will only happen by Q1, 2023. In other words, settle in for the long haul.

Given that I thought it would be useful to look at some practical tactics for this moment.

There’s so much out there telling us how to behave to mitigate the depression and the frustration. Often, it is both useful and frustrating.

The well-meaning advice is often divorced from the realities of life.

It’s hard to meditate when you have children wanting breakfast, the work-team in another time zone wanting Zoom cocktails, and a sore back from inactivity.

Today’s message is “Do something achievable”. Scale it for you and your circumstances.

My 6 hour a week pre-lockdown yoga habit has become an hour a week of Pilates.
On the days where I can’t still my brain sufficiently for meditation, I walk and pay attention to colours in the neighbourhood.

I spent weeks in dietary virtue and psychic grumpiness. I now end my days with a gin and our meals with some delicious ice-cream from Sorbetiere. For the last three weeks, on my busy days, our meals have come from Trouty’s Kitchen. Sure, I am chubbier than the pre-lockdown yoga me, but I am mostly happy, mostly able to turn up with the right energy for my clients. I get this letter to you each week. It works.

We are juggling unprecedented times. Be gentle with yourself and keep the flame of ambition alive.

/ STRATEGY

Eckardt Kasselman introduced me to Ambition and Balance. It is the blog of tech company Doist, creators of the productivity app Todoist and the communications app, Twist. Without fail, they publish useful content.

Given that the Fortune 500 CEOs figure that we’re in this for at least another 16 months, I thought it was worth sharing some insights from this article Why Your Present Self Doesn’t Give a Damn About Your Future Self.

The article draws on the work of Hal Hershfield, a psychologist at the UCLA Anderson School of Management, showing that, we view our future selves as a stranger.

We are far more likely to prioritise the comfort of our current self than do the work that favours our future self.

One sees the same pattern in companies requiring transformation. They stick to current ways of operating or a current conceptualization of themselves, even as they wither away losing people and revenues.

It is cognitively hard to envisage a different future and then practically difficult to take the actions in the present moment to get to that – as yet – unknown future.

We consistently make two mistakes:

• We assume that our future self will have more time to do that which our present life doesn’t and so we overcommit (think of those New Year resolutions).
• Our personalities are pretty consistent, so our future self is likely to have the same strengths and weaknesses as our current self.

Practically this means:

• Create a compelling vision of the 2023 you and your company. If I continue my kilogram a month lockdown weight gain, I will tip the scales at 114 kgs. That’s enough to get me reaching for my yoga mat.
• Craft actions within your current life. Get detailed. What are you currently spending time on? Something needs to change to fit in the new actions that will take you to your future.
• Ambition and Balance says, “assume the worst of your Future Self and you’ll be much better prepared.” It’s a good precept. If you’re realistic, you can build achievable goals. If you achieve the goals you create a virtuous cycle of feedback.

Again, the parallel to company life exists. Don’t fall for fanciful visions of what you ought to be. Often foisted on companies by outside consultants, they’re unrealistic. Equally, start to initiate actions that open new possibilities.

You can help make your future-self accountable through:

• Declaration. If you share the vision, you create social pressure.
• Make realistic commitments to yourself – be that deadlines, or time committed.
• Getting an accountability partner.

All these actions help create the impetus to keep moving.

This weekly letter to you is my device to ensure my future coaching self stays committed to research and learning.

/ SELF 

David Jarvis shared this article with me Your surge capacity is depleted – its why you feel awful.  It’s useful to understand for when you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s not just you, it’s normal. I like these coping suggestions:

• Accept that life is different right now.
• Expect less from yourself and replenish more.
• Look for creative activities that give some instant gratification. For me that was buying plants to fill our courtyard.

In the same vein, this Harvard Business Review article How to (Actually) Save Time When You’re Working Remotely is based on a survey of 12,000 people and shows, unsurprisingly, that most of us are burning time on activities that don’t serve us.

The article has several useful tactics including:

• Plan your “commute”. In other words, give yourself 15 minutes to transition from home-life to work-life.
• Give yourself a Feierabend – in other words a ritual at the end of the day to mark the end of the workday.
• Plan proactive time. Diarise the time and the tasks that will take you towards your future self. Do them.

/ SOUL

Today’s soul is an extract from Ade Adébáyọ̀’s debut novel ‘Stay With Me’:

“I followed him to the door, grappling for words to tell him I did not really want to fight with him, to explain that I was afraid that he would leave me and I would be all alone in the world again.”

In times of stress, we will often speak from fear. That expression is often an angry one. It helps us stay safe, even when it doesn’t serve to build the connection that we want.

When you feel yourself getting angry, pause, ask yourself ‘what is really going on? What about this moment is making me feel unsafe?’
Invariably our anger means we want safety. It is more constructive to say that, even though the anger allows us to feel temporarily safe.

Look after yourselves. Take small steps. Tell those around you that you love them.

See you next week.

Karl

PS: My coaching work incorporates the values and ideas that I reflect in this letter. If you’d like to know more click here or email me.
PPS: If you were forwarded this newsletter, you can subscribe here.

(This letter was first published on 6 September 2020)