Building emotional courage (thank you Susan David)
Good morning humans
Forgive the oddball greeting. I have been immersed in Tade Thompson’s excellent sci-fi Wormwood trilogy. I came to know about it reading The eight must read African Novels to get you through lockdown.
Although I am not a massive sci-fi fan, I’ve dipped into the genre repeatedly since coming across William Gibson’s quotation that “The future is already here – it’s just not evenly distributed”. Because science fiction authors look to the future and get there through extrapolating from the current moment they seem, to me, to be a useful source of exploring what might happen.
/ STRATEGY
Accordingly, I was pleased to receive this New Yorker piece by acclaimed science fiction author Kim Stanley Robinson, from my wise friend Maryse Barak (who in turn had received it from her friend Peter).
In it, Robinson explores “the tragedy of the time horizon”, the fact that the consequences of environmental destruction will only be experienced in its fullness by those who come after us. He says that an economics oriented to maximise only profit “encourages us to live within a system of destructive falsehoods”.
He observes that “For the past few decades, we’ve been called upon to act, and have been acting in a way that will be scrutinized by our descendants” but that “we don’t act on what we know. We don’t want to change our habits. This knowing-but-not-acting is part of the old structure of feeling”.
How often is this true, both in our personal and professional lives? That we prioritise a single metric of what success is, so often that is salary or profit. That we know that change must come, but we don’t act. We know that a rich life needs more than one measure. Yet, we remain stuck in old structures of feeling, imagining and therefore of doing.
/ SELF
And as Susan David notes, “rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic”.
David is a Harvard Medical School psychologist. Her Ted Talk on Emotional Courage gives much wisdom for this moment.
In a saccharine world that foists falsehoods of an easy life on us, her statement that “Tough emotions are part of our contract with life. You don’t get to have a meaningful career or raise a family or leave the world a better place without stress and discomfort. Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life” is refreshing, welcome and honest.
Life has hardship. This moment more than many others. It triggers emotions of anxiety, depression, stress, anger, and many others. Acknowledging their presence helps diffuse their power. Using richer, more specific language enables us to take more appropriate action to address them.
She says, “when we label our emotions accurately, we are more able to discern the precise cause of our feelings. And what scientists call the readiness potential in our brain is activated, allowing us to take concrete steps. But not just any steps — the right steps for us. Because our emotions are data”.
For those of us running organisations she reminds that “Diversity isn’t just people, it’s also what’s inside people. Including diversity of emotion. The most agile, resilient individuals, teams, organizations, families, communities are built on an openness to the normal human emotions”.
Again, rigidity is toxicity. Those businesses that see people solely through the lens of KPAs, systems and targets and not first with an appreciation for the complexity of being human will necessarily be rigid. And, rigidity is the death of progress. Holding complexity is key to success in an uncertain world. Knowing and allowing your emotions is the key to the courage to hold that complexity.
Her talk is only 16 minutes long. Listen to it.
/ SOUL
Roger Walsh has spent most of his life studying all the world’s spiritual traditions. His book Essential Spirituality is a wonderful collection of powerful practices to ‘awaken the heart and mind’.
He starts by saying “Life is not always easy, but it can be ecstatic. How to manage the difficulties and taste the ecstasy is a central challenge of life…”
Gratitude is a powerful tool which we can use to balance the negative emotions that we rightly feel. Gratitude evokes happiness. Happiness enables the energy for action. Walsh reflects on a Zen before-meal recitation:
“Innumerable labours brought us this food,
We should recall how it came to us.”
This is such a powerful thought in this moment. Thousands of people place themselves at heightened risk so that we can all eat.
“Innumerable labours brought us this food,
We should recall how it came to us.”
Make today a day of thankfulness in which you think of all the people you have a reason to be grateful to. Take the time to tell some of them why you are grateful to them. Ask them to do the same for others. For as the prayer of St. Francis reminds us, “it is in giving that we receive”.
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Best wishes to all of you
Karl